Treat others how you wish to be treated. For those of you who don’t treat yourselves very well, please continue reading. For those of you who don’t read very well… The going rate for narration by bar staff is one drink per recital.
Cash isn’t king, card is. Sorry, we don’t accept cash anymore, you’ll have to use your flexible plastic friend (we accept all major credit and debit cards).
Table service. Sit down, relax – we’ll come to you. Just imagine you’re in a restaurant… but with drinks, lots of lovely, lovely drinks.
You are our guest and we want you to enjoy yourself. But accordingly, please behave in an appropriate manner, read the room: If nobody else is dancing on tables, you shouldn’t be either. Similarly we don’t drink in your bed, so don’t sleep at our bar. If you’re tired, go home!
No shouting. There are other fine folk here too and ambience is best served without a slice of abrasive noise. So no shouting, screaming, hollering or yelling unless it’s an attempt to warm of impending danger, or a police raid.
No fighting, no play fighting, no talking about fighting. We prefer an intimate atmosphere to an intimidating one. This is not fight club, it’s not 1999 and you unfortunately, are not Brad Pitt. Make love, not war.
Name dropping will get you nowhere. Flattery will. Buying your bartender a drink will get you even further. Whistling, finger clicking, etcetera will leave you further away than before you named dropped.
We do have soap, we will wash your mouth out… And trust us, it will ruin the taste of your drink! Whilst the occasional slip of the tongue might be okay, really dirty language will get you refused service and removed.
Just like soap, chewing gum will also tarnish the taste of your drink. But if you insist on exercising your jaw then the underside of our furniture is not a suitable location to discard it, neither is your glass. A napkin will more than suffice.
If you’re leaving us, please do so quietly… And if we hit capacity then it’s simply one-out/one-in, no matter how pretty you are or how many Instagram followers you have.
If you bring drugs into our bar, you will be banned. Lemsip won’t get you banned, but if you’re drinking that, you shouldn’t be in our bar… Go home!
Last but not least, don’t forget to smile… you’re on camera! We operate CCTV in all corners of our bar.